Saturday, June 2, 2012

PLUMBING With PARENTS...

A NOT ALTOGETHER *PLEASANT* "PROCESS"!! -- just saying...

Allow Me to PREFACE... We really could do with a new Kitchen COUNTER. We also need a new SINK. We *desperately* NEED *NEW FAUCETS*!! -- [oh. wait. MOTHER already bought Some..]
-- We SERIOUSLY NEED "THEM" **INSTALLED**!!!

NOTE - Besides, being commonly referred to as "PRINCESS-POWER-TOOLS", MOTHER also goes by "PRINCESS-PLUMBER".

So... When I came up for Breakfast, instead of being greeted with the usual SATURDAY-YARD-SALE-SHOPPING-"SCHEDULE", I was met with an ominous scattering of the SCARY-STUFF-From-Under-the-SINK-CRAP spread out before Me!
-- not good...

I need My CHEERIOS...

I "concentrate" on THAT task, as the background-droning of, "...first I need to do the Dishwasher... then I want to start on the Taps no later than 3...", buzzes about over the sane-ness of My Chocolate-Chippy-cereal-crunching...

[INSERT the Part, where I really, REALLY *WISH* that My BROTHER was Living HERE!!]

FAST-FORWARD to *AFTER* I've...
  • Stocked up on Drinking-Water.
  • Changed into Grungy-Clothes.
  • Sorted out the "PATH" to the WATER-SHUT-OFF-VALVE for FATHER - [His ONE Task to keep *busy* and OUT of Our Way!].
  • Prepped the new Flashlight.
  • Checked My E-mail...
  • Munched some more.
  • Pinched Myself to make sure that THIS wasn't some BAD DREAM about to unfold!

As The ELDERLY-FEMALE-PARENTAL-UNIT surveyed the "Challenge" ahead, I ploughed on with a weeding of the DEBRIS-field... Seriously? "WHAT" IS some of THIS STUFF??!! -- I filled the designated "HAZMAT"-Bag...

Whilst MOTHER went in search of the *appropriate* TOOLS - [that's She's ALWAYS purporting to Possess!??] - I went to retrieve My Shiny-RED-$3.-Yard-Sale-Find-IKEA-TRACTOR-SEAT-Wheeled-CHAIR from the Basement. The little Foot-Stool-Bench that I had hoped to use was just too LOW for Me to SIT on comfortably. [Nasty Lower-Back and Knee problems..]

right. so. I'm checking out the "INSTRUCTIONS" for These TAPS... oh-kaay... There's this DETAILED-Diagram of the "Handles", which is totally USELESS as the UNIT *already* comes ASSEMBLED!? duh! And, the Other TINY-Diagram that IS Useful, ended up being moot, as We had only needed ONE of the 3-Pieces! -- IT made those KINDER-SURPRISE-TOY Instructions look like ROCKET-SCIENCE!

Meanwhile, back to the *actual* PLUMBING... MOTHER has a LOT of HARDWARE. Just NOT necessarily ALL of the PROPER Tools! And, when She does, THEY seem to get Misplaced..?

EVENTUALLY, We got the NUTS and TUBES and WHAT-the-crap-EVERS UN-attached so I could LIFT-OUT the SINK! -- EEUWWW!! -- THANK YOU, DISPOSABLE GLOVES!

You know, THIS whole PROCEDURE, IT reminds Me of whenever The POWER goes OFF... You need to DO Something, but *can't* because You-NEED-Power! -- There was STUFF that NEEDED "Cleaning", BUT, We had NO WATER!!

We MANAGED... sorta...

We REALLY *probably* should have GOTTEN a NEW SINK, too! -- just saying...

FOUR-HOURS LATER... NO Leaks. SO FAR... The SINK remains in need of some Sealant around the Rim - some OTHER Time! -- Will have to get USED-TO the way the New-Knobs Turn..? Can't WAIT - or, not - to see IF the Dishwasher-Nozzle-Thingy will be ANGLED *Properly*!

Anyhoo... DESPITE, MOTHER's opinions to the Contrary, I now possess the "skill" of  HOW-TO Change FAUCETS!! - woohoo!

-- HOWEVER, I think I'll just Stick to My YARN!!

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