Wednesday, June 27, 2012

REASON Number: "Whatever"



just saying...

The "CIRCUMSTANCES" for My Beleaguered-Brain..? PRINCESSES'-MOM and TAP-MAN - [LITTLE-PRINCESS-BIG-RED's Dad] - have decided to get MARRIED Next Year. In VEGAS... So, *THE*-DRESS-SEARCH is "ON"!

Since I had a *planned* Errand to do at THE BIG MALL, SISTER, BIG-D, and PRINCESS-BRIDE picked up MOTHER - [Who was along to "Navigate"] - and headed to said SHOP. -- I, subsequently, joined THEM around DRESS-TRY-ON-#2-of-20-Plus..?

Personally, I - [as does MOTHER] - think that IT would be *less* Expensive and PROBABLY *EASIER*
"IF" PRINCESSES'-MOM and SISTER were to MAKE The DRESS Themselves! THEY Both SEW well enough. -- MOTHER made Her Own and SISTER's, and COUNTLESS OTHERS for OTHER-PEOPLE over the Years... ANYTHING would be *better* than Some of the
"GOWNS" We saw!

Not to mention, being SURROUNDED by soooo *much* POLYESTER was just outright SCARY!!

I'm not saying that They were all Horrid - Some were actually *nice* - However, the FABRICS on Several, made DUCT-TAPE look like LINEN! ...There was One, I could have Used as SAIL-CLOTH!
-- I suspect that IT might have been a TENT in a Previous Life??!

hmm... "WHITE" DUCT-TAPE... You know, MICHAEL'S *IS* just across the Roadway from the "ZILLA-ZOO". THEY might have some...

Actually, MOTHER has been eyeing the TOILET-TISSUE... [These's this TV-Commercial with Toilet-Tissue-Wedding-Dresses...] -- She's gone to the Ladies' Room *twice* already...

So... "WHAT" Blissful-Bits of *WISEDOM* have I Acquired Today??
  • PLASTIC-BAGS can be *Recycled* into very *heavy* WEDDING-GOWNS!
  • BRIDAL-SHOP-CLERKS have the Patience-of-SAINTS!
  • And, after hauling about the afore-mentioned Attire ALL DAY, THEY also appear to possess the Herculean-Strength needed to pickup off the floor any Post-SALES-Slip-Given-FATHERS-of-The-BRIDE-ZILLAS!
  • There's a Shortage of ANYTHING above a SIZE-8...
  • That My BROTHER-IN-LAW is Resigned to His FATE as "Chauffeur" and the PAYER-of-BILLS...
  • Should the "QUESTION" ever arise, I have REconfirmed My long-standing-DECISION "to ELOPE"!!
  • oh! And that, seeing the [ouch! that's gonna *cost*! was that an Armoured-Car-Van He hit?!]-*CRINGE*-worthy-Front-End-CRUMPLED-*MERCEDES* at THE BIG MALL blocking the Parking-Lot Traffic should have been My First-"CLUE" to My DAY!!


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