Sunday, December 29, 2013

"SOME ASSEMBLY MAY BE REQUIRED"

THANK "ELFIS", MOTHER OWNS MORE "TOOL-KITS" THAN A HARDWARE STORE! - [And that's just What's kept *in* the Kitchen!]
 
-- yeah...*That* "SOCKET-BIT" will FIT...
 
Sooo... About that "ROOF-RAKE" I bought the Other Day... To be more accurate, IT's really more of a "SCOOP" than an actual "RAKE".
 
And, I suppose that the Primary "SALES-PITCH" is all about the "POLE"-part, with ITS "Universal"-Standard-Sized "SCREW-ON"-END-BIT..? -- You know, so I can "PAINT WALLS" or "SWAT BUGS" without the need of a Ladder or Shotgun...
 

okay. So inside "The BOX" that came with The POLE, We have...
  • the 20-Inch-[or so]-Long-PLASTIC-"SCOOP"
  • the Foot-Long-POLE-bit that Screws onto The POLE
  • 2 METAL-"STRUTS" -- *NOTE* - The "Pole-Attachment"-ENDS are just minutely *concave*...
  • 2 SMALL BOLTS
  • 2 LARGE BOLTS -- *NOTE* - One is just *slightly* Longer than the Other
  • 3 "ROUND"-NUTS
  • 1 "SQUARE"-NUT that looks awfully *rounded*...
  • an "INSTRUCTION"-SHEET with rather DARK "Photos", that is so VAGUE, IT makes any "IKEA"-One look like the ROSETTA STONE!
 
alrighty... How *HARD* can THIS be, huh?
 
  • Had to look at The BOX "Picture" to figure-out WHICH Direction the POLE-Bit had to go.
  • Thankfully, the SQUARE-NUT and the SMALL-BOLTS fitted into Hole-wells...
  • hmm... I "GUESS" that the LONGER BOLT goes on the Bottom..?!
  • seriously? - "WHY" are the NUTS *only* HALF-THREADED?? -- One bad TUG of Heavy-SNOW and I'll end up LOSING *all* of the Hardware!
  • [INSERT MOTHER's "TOOLS" to the Rescue!]
  • wow. These INSTRUCTIONS really are *Disgustingly* BAD!
  • I just HOPE the STRUTS don't get "in the way" of the SNOW...

 
MEANWHILE... I REALLY *should* have STAYED HOME Yesterday - [instead of doing GROCERY-GETTING] - to do the SNOW-CLEAN-UP *while* the Temps were ABOVE "FREEZING"... As THIS "CONTRAPTION would *probably* have WORKED, *THEN*!
 
Overnight-Temps had DROPPED! -- ALL of that MELTWATER and SNOW-POOP *FROZE*!! - There's "Zamboni"-ICE EVERYWHERE! And that CRUSTY-ICE-LAYER covering all of the SNOW is now, a HALF-INCH Thick! -- NO way was that PLASTIC-"SCOOP" going to Break *any* of IT without a good bit of "Power" behind IT, that then *would* have DAMAGED the ROOF!!
 
I *MISSED* My Weather-"WINDOW"-of-Opportunity!!
 
[cheap-half-threaded-square]-*NUTS*!!
 
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